Divorce Thoughts

As I revealed in May, I got a divorce.  Having been separated for a year and now four months past my divorce, I have a few thoughts to share:

-Divorce is a loss.  Divorce is grief.  To go through a divorce is to experience all the stages of grief.

-The stages of grief do not happen in any set sequence.  Transitioning between stages happens in both directions.  

-You can't force acceptance.  Acceptance is like any other major event in life - it will happen when it happens.

-You can also relapse.  It will happen less as you move onward.

-Practice healthy habits.  In my case, I started running again, eating healthier, and drinking less.  I also decided to return to my faith.  I'm sure an atheist can reach acceptance as well, but I think spirituality/religion tend to help most of us.  And sleep.

-Confide in your friends.  I have my select friends and they are the best.

-A divorced man is 100% in charge of his free time.  Try new things and enjoy some hobbies.

-Volunteer your time to serve others.  It will make you feel better as an individual and provide a sense of purpose.  I found a lot of opportunities to volunteer in my current assignment.

-Divorce does not make you ugly.  There really are women out there who prefer a divorced man.  Ask me how I know.  

-Amicable divorce does not equal "good" divorce.  We mediated our dissolution of marriage.  We are capable of the occasional pleasant and civil conversation.  But I'm still sad and exhausted to an extent.