Divorce Thoughts

Sitting in seat 8F on a Southwest flight as I ruminate over some thoughts about the last couple days.

To begin with, I am happy with where I am.  I am ultimately here because a Vice Admiral decided I was worthy of the opportunity to teach at our alma mater.  Great stuff.

The preceding year was without question the toughest year of my life.  I didn’t get promoted despite my concerted efforts and that sucks.  I had some personal problems on top of that.  

However, I did not let it keep me down.  The experience gave me cause to reevaluate my priorities.

I happen to be serving with a devout Christian and he explains his priorities as Jesus, being a father, being a husband, and being a Marine Corps Officer.  So I took a few moments and explored my priorities.  Until recently, my priorities were: Naval Officer, Husband, Father.  I’m not a particularly religious man but I am a moralist and ethicist of sorts.  So now that I am (probably) permanently off sea duty, in my terminal paygrade, and finally in a position to pursue my next calling to teach, I am making a concerted effort to realign my priorities.  I think being a father and husband are coequal primary priorit Offies.  I am still an Officer.  And I’m now a new teacher, serving as an Instructor (lowest academic rank, but being low and being a servant should keep me grounded – more on that below).

So for being grounded in a lower status . . .

I already mentioned that I enjoy building models.  I am volunteering my Thursday evenings and Saturday mornings at the Naval Academy Museum in Preble Hall.  I am being taught wooden model techniques by a retired Marine Artillery Officer.  I am now in an Apprentice role.  And after years of trying to prove myself and being in positions of authority and expertise, I think it is a nice detour.  

For one thing, I am not as hot-headed as I was 20 years ago.  The older I get, the less I realize I actually know.  There is always room to learn and grow and I’m enjoying being taught, being allowed to try, and then being critiqued about what I did wrong.   It also, I think, reminds me of the importance of servant leadership – the idea that while I may be in a position of authority, I am nonetheless charged with serving my subordinates, peers, and superiors.  It also brings to mind the concept of covenant leadership – that leading also involves making agreements (covenants) with the people I am charged to lead.  My covenant with the museum is to be there on Thursday evenings and Saturday mornings.  I also live that in my day job.  My students are expected to be in class on time.  I come into my classroom early to set up the equipment.  I have a covenant with them to teach and facilitate a dialogue.  Not much different than in my previous assignments where I was charged with accomplishing the mission and taking care of my people.