Divorce and Spirituality

So What, Exactly is "Success?"

Or is it more that we need to rethink how we define success.

By all outward accounts, I think one would see me as a relatively successful man.  

And there's the rub.  Those of us who start on our respective journeys from high school begin as equals.  And we move through the Junior Officer ranks (for the Army, Air Force, and Marine Corps, you get to be Field Grade at O-4 and for the Navy, you get to be Senior at O-5...), we slowly see our friends reach "terminal paygrade."  It's painful to watch your friends wind up there and it becomes even more painful to be there yourself.

So what is success?  

For me, I married a nice lady I knew in high school and we brought a beautiful girl into the world who is already an artist with a portfolio who gets commission for her works at the ripe old age of 15.  Yes, you read that right.  My daughter has made more money selling her art than Vincent Van Gogh ever earned.

I consider that a success.

I had an awkward childhood and at one point, they all thought I was on the "Spectrum" but I proved them all wrong.  I also proved them wrong with the hep of my parents who believed I had some kind of intelligence.

So here I am now.  I have awesome friends and have had amazing opportunities in life but there are those moments when it simply is not enough.  

So I got passed over twice and that by all accounts typically marks the end of an otherwise successful military career.  But somehow, I persevered and got my scrambled eggs.  But now I'm seeing as many as three of my Naval Academy Classmates taking the reins of command.  I am happy for all of them and am certainly highly proud of what they accomplished.  But at the same time, I feel the wounds of failure being reopened every time I see a friend take on that awesome responsibility.

So here I am with having to accept my lot in this version of my life.

A Soldier summed it up in a far-better manner than what I did:

https://fromthegreennotebook.com/2018/05/03/what-to-do-when-the-army-stops-promoting-you/?fbclid=IwAR3K7kGUbPaC_5vi5pOZHbkv1JDIBhapG8JCoAjbnx9QK91qt4gOVWLkiOk

I think the right answer is to accept that we all can't get command or be astronauts.  It still hurts when you gave it your all and were not able to pull it off.